Old Relations

I loved you once.
And I might have loved you still,
except you kept pushing.

You kept leaning,
I couldn't take it.
Especially when you want my dog gone.
You knew better then that.
You can't remove her from my side.

You blamed me,
You said I was a horrible girlfriend,
You told me you put up with so much!

I was your everything!
I was your life and breath.
You thought of marrying me.
You never wanted to let me go.
I was your sunshine.

Some would say that sounds wonderful.
Girls daydream of it all the time,
Till they find out for real.
Its only nice when its some one you like,
And even then when its in moderation.

I couldn't deal with it.
I was wonderful to you,
As you sucked away my life force.
You acted as a parasite,
Taking and never giving,
And I dealt with it,
Till I was on deaths door.

I never burdened you with my troubles,
I never stopped talking to you,
I told you everything,
And let you enjoy my life.

Now you won't stop seeking me,
Seeking my life,
You won't let me move on.
You traumatize me with this self hate.
Self hate for not loving you,
Self hate for hurting you.

Just let me go.
Its closing on a year.
Why?
When you have another,
Do you persist?
You love her you say,
But really you still love me.
You need to let go but you can't,
And I suffer for it.

Please,
Just let go...

Sick

ugh... Chest colds suck! And thats about as much enthusiasm I have left in me for today... I laugh because I still have my braids in from U.S. History when I was so bored I just started braiding and then later I just put my hair up... Well they're still there! I wanted chicken noodle soup cause that really does make me feel better but instead I'm stuck with turkey which doesn't work nearly as well... It helps but not like chicken noodle...

Out Riding

Dogwoods protected for years almost grace the tree tops. White flowers in a world of green and brown. Butterflies that seem to be made from dogwood petals flutter past as we pass. Nevermind you, they're on a lazy mission for nectar. I sit back in mid jump barely keeping from knocking my horse off his course as one flies infront of my face. We come to a walk and I gaze at the grass as if I were a starving horse. Its that goregous, nutritious green of spring grass that only pops up in the best of land. This is haven. But its a shrunken haven because just ten feet away is an end to the woods. There area is developing and closing off. This slice of happiness is an island surrounded by sea water. Pretty on the top but choking and bad for life, other then itself.

McCarthy is gay. Literally.

Joesph McCarthy was gay. Of course I picked him for my project after my teacher told me tooo. At the time I had no clue who he was. Now what the hell do you think is going to be in my power point? Of course theres going to be rainbows, and flaming hot pink and everything else I can think up that is gay. Its a fact. I thrive on making fun of people who put themselves out in public eye that might try to conceal something like that....

Don't get mad. Get glad.

So on the back of a glad garbage bag box there are instructions on how to close the trash bag then take it out of the trash can and throw it out. Why don't they have instructions on how to open the bag and place it in the trash can? They really should fix that. Preferably to take off the instructions... I think it came about cause they needed some good looking design for the box.... I'm not positive but how do you sue for a garbage bag not coming out of the trash can right? I mean thats the only reason I've seen for stupid instructions... God this world is sad...

Life & Strawberries

The round heart shape of the strawberry with green leaves gracing the sides makes me smile. A box of strawberries represents spring, which in turn represents life. And life to me is the happiest thing in this world. Life is my dog, my horse, and especially my pony. My dog lives life in innocences, my horse lives life in acceptances, and my pony lives life! No matter what it throws at him, he lives. My role models of life and happiness. They're strawberries.

Musk Rats.....

So the jack russles got a musk rat today. This was the second time I've had a live, wild, never been near humans in its whole life animal lay at my feet waiting as I beat those damn dogs off of it with a riding crop... It was amazing. This tiny, musk rat beat up 5 jack russles. These are good rat, groundhog, and even coon, jack russles. I mean if two of them can take one a coon pretty well five of them should definately be able to kill anything else that comes in they're way, but this tiny musk rat didn't get a hurt at all. It was missing a couple of patches of fur. Thats it! And beleive me I was rather close cause at one point I was squating down next to it. I could have easily pet it if I had wanted to. The Jack russles had actually gotten beaten up. Ber ber is the worst of all. She has a gash on the back of her leg and her face is all cut up. Luckily there were no puncture wounds.